do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
