To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize