Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
