So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
