Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize