now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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