I don't think brook has ever known best
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
