WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
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My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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