guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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