dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just googled if crying burns calories
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
