does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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