The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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