I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
