It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
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He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
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So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize