i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
