you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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