No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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