Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
