were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
