hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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