She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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