Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize