She's JV to your varsity
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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