i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
