I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize