I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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