You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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