He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
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Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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