someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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