our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
