I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
