Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize