I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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