do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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