saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize