dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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