We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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