"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
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The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
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Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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