yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize