I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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