And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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