My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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