'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Quick, to the slutcave!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
