its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
