you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
