In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
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The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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