New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
