if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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