and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
