I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
