Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
