Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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