Plan B is the new Plan A
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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