I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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