you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just forgot I was standing up.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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