If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
